Rating: PG with an edge, for cursing and teenage meanness.
Summary: Spencer Reid has a nightmare.
Spoilers: "Elephant's Memory" for Spencer's memory for school.
Disclaimer: *La sigh* I don't own them. It is a shame.
Author's Note: This story is dedicated to every kid that ever had a hard time in school. And this story is written for momma_66, who encouraged me to write it. Thank you so much, girl, I hope you like it. Warning: You will need a hanky for this. Enjoy!
We forget half of what they teach us in high school. But when it comes to the torment and the people who inflicted it, we've all got an elephant's memory.
The nightmare always starts the same. The first thing he remembers is the smell of musty old books in the high school library.
Little Spencer Reid sighed as he finished the last of his Calculus problems. Mrs. Gillman, his mother's friend and the school librarian, always gave him rides home after school. He closed his textbook and put his homework in his big black binder, where he kept all of his assignments. He studied his wristwatch and saw that Mrs. Gillman would be finishing closing up in fifteen minutes.
As he finished gathering the last of his belongings, he saw that Harper Hilman, one of the prettiest girls in school, had entered the library. Spencer's heart sped up and he tried to act like he didn't see her. No one ever wanted to be stared at by the little freak Spencer Reid. Then he noticed that she was coming towards him. She had smile on her face and she tucked a blond lock behind her ear before saying, "Hiya, Spencer."
"H-hi, Harper," he stammered nervously. "W-what are you doing h-here?"
Her light giggle made his stomach flutter and she said, "Looking for you, silly."
"Me?" He wasn't able to keep the confusion out of his voice.
Her blond curls bounced as she nodded, saying, "Yeah, do you know my friend, Alexa?"
Spencer's heart skipped a beat. Of course he knew who Alexa Lisbon was. She was the prettiest girl in school. Long chocolate brown hair and twinkling blue eyes. He nodded wordlessly and Harper said, "Well, she wants to meet you down by the football field. Told me to come get you."
"Okay," Spencer said excitedly.
At this point in the nightmare, he's screaming at little Spencer, "Don't fall for it! It's a trick!" He feels sick as he watches little Spencer gather his things and follow Harper out of the library like a lovesick puppy. He feels tears tickle his eyes as he watches little Spencer try to straighten his clothes, smooth his hair, knowing the nervous thoughts running through his eleven year old mind, wishing he didn't look like such a nerd. He was so nervous about actually meeting Alexa Lisbon that he didn't realize he was walking into a trap...until it was too late.
Suddenly his books and binder were shoved to the ground. He looked up and saw Tony Andrews standing there with a big smirk on his face. Then he noticed that Harper and Alexa standing alongside half a dozen guys from the football team. He felt sick to his stomach and felt a lump growing in his throat. Of course Alexa Lisbon didn't want to talk to him. She was everything in this school and he was a little nothing.
"H-hi, Tony," he stammered once again, looking back down at his feet.
"Little Spencer Reid," Tony chuckled, "thought he could get close with my girlfriend."
Suddenly Spencer's hair was yanked and he found himself looking into Tony's rage-filled eyes.
"Big mistake," he breathed.
By now, he's watching the teenage Tony turn to call his friends over and he starts to scream, "You're nothing now! I made it to the FBI!" He had Garcia look up Tony for him and found that his story was similar to Morgan's. He got a football scholarship to a good school, but his senior year, he messed up his knee. But while Morgan kept it together, Tony fell apart, dropped out of school, and is now a mechanic with a severe drinking problem. But at this moment, none of that matters. He watches as seven teenage boys strip down a eleven year old kid for no reason other than they could.
Spencer didn't bother trying to hide his tears, he knew that's what they wanted. He was too scared, too overwhelmed to care about that. As Tony used his shirt to tie his wrists behind the goalpost, Spencer cried, "Please stop. I won't tell anyone. Just please let me go!"
One of Tony's friend Billy scoffed, "What a fucking pussy!"
That only made Spencer cry harder. He wasn't a pussy, he was just a kid! He tried to struggle against his bonds, but they were too tight. He looked at Harper and Alexa and saw that they were the only ones not laughing. He called out to them, "Help me, please! Go get Mrs. Gillman!"
They looked away and he saw Alexa say something to Harper, then they were leaving. Fresh tears flooded his eyes and he cried, "No! Don't go! Please don't go!"
He is silent now as he watches the light fade from the sky and Tony and his friends finally getting bored with their game. He watches little Spencer slowly wiggle his wrists free and slowly put back on his discarded clothes. He follows little Spencer home in the dark, watching him jump at the slightest noise. He watches little Spencer pause at his front door. He knows exactly what is going through his frazzled young brain at that moment, "Please let her be herself tonight."
Spencer opened the front door freely. That was a bad sign. When his mother was in one of her "episodes", she lost touch with everything around her. As he headed to his bedroom, he checked in on her. As typical "episode" fashion, she was in her bed, surrounded by her books, eating peanut butter from the jar and watching "The Three Stooges".
"Mommy?" he asked softly, feeling very much like a child for once. "I'm home."
She took another spoonful of peanut butter and laughed at something on the screen. A lone tear slid down his cheek as he shut the door behind him. As he took a quick shower, his only small comfort was that he didn't have to go to school and once again face her tormentors. After he brushed his teeth and changed into his Star Wars PJs, he slid underneath his covers and cried himself to sleep.
Spencer Reid, twenty-seven years old, wakes up crying. He sits up in bed and wraps his arms around his legs. He rests his forehead against his knees and lets out a few light sobs. Moments later, he feels the bed shift and his lover's warm presence behind him.
"You okay, babe?"
Spencer lifts his head and leans back against Derek, who wraps his arms around the younger man. He turns his head and murmurs against Derek's neck, "Bad dream."
Derek squeezes him and lays them back down, Spencer curling along his side. "Want to talk about it?"
And for once, Spencer doesn't. He doesn't want to analyze it, doesn't want to rehash those emotions, doesn't want to
hear the "You're way more successful than they could ever hope to be" speech. As he nuzzles closer to his lover, he realizes this, this warm comfort, is all he ever wanted.
"No," he whispers finally. "Just keep doing this."
A/N- Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!