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The Past | The Future

Cradled Like A Child

Title: Cradled Like A Child
Author: berryblue_girl
Rating: PG-13
Genre/Warnings: Derek/Spencer slash
Summary: To an outsider, watching someone go through drug withdrawal is an experience akin to watching someone go through the five stages of grief.  ~Derek Morgan
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the doves, and ain't that sad?
Author's Note: This is in response to
[info]comment_fic prompt: Criminal Minds, Reid/Morgan, cradled like a child...Enjoy!


To an outsider, watching someone go through drug withdrawal is an experience akin to watching someone go through the fives stages of grief. -Derek Morgan

Denial:

Derek watched Spencer pace back and forth inside his small bedroom.  His eyes were crazed and he kept muttering to himself, chewing on his nails and fingertips.  He looked much paler than usual, and he looked like he had two black eyes, the circles from lack of sleep were so dark.  Suddenly he rushed into the bathroom, and Derek was quick to follow him.  He saw his lover hunch over the toilet and the violent sounds of him retching made Derek's skin crawl.  He knelt down next to Spencer and pulled his hair back from around his face.  In between bouts of nausea, Spencer laid his forehead on the seat and cried softly, "God, this isn't happening, not to me."

Derek only pulled him into his arms for those periods of time and cooed, "It'll all be over soon, pretty boy."

Anger:

"What did you do with it?!  Tell me now, you son of a bitch!"

Derek ducked as Spencer threw another thick book at his head.  Spencer then stepped away from the bookshelf in favor of a more personal approach.  He shoved Derek against the door and began pounding his fists where ever they happened to land.  Derek quickly clamped Spencer's arms at his sides by wrapped both of his around the thin man.  Derek pressed against the door and slid down the floor, taking an unwilling Spencer with him.  Derek felt the fight slowly drain from his limbs, being replaced by the tremors that never quite seemed to leave.  Derek rubbed his thumbs on Spencer's arms, wondering when this nightmare was going to end.

Bargaining:

Derek frowned when he felt a tugging at his zipper.  His eyes flew open and he found Spencer knelt on the floor at his waist.  Derek's hands flew into motion, trying to stop him, saying, "Spence, man!  What the hell?"

"Please, Derek," the young man whimpered, "I'll make you feel so good.  Like before?  Remember?"

Derek sat up, trying to zip up his pants, but Spencer climbed on his lap, murmuring against his neck, "Please, Derek.  I just need a fix, just a little bit.  I'll make you feel amazing if you'll just get me a taste, please, Derek!"

Derek pulled Spencer back, ashamed that his body responded to what Spencer was offering.  But at the same time, a lump grew in his throat at seeing his pretty boy like this, wanting to trade sex for drugs.  He spoke, his voice rough and choked, "You'll make me feel amazing when you're better, Spencer, but not like this.  Never like this."

Depression:

Derek curled up behind Spencer, feeling his too-thin body shake violently.  Once again, he wished they had gone to a hospital, but before they began this nightmare, Spencer had begged to him, "No hospitals!  I don't want to risk Strauss finding out."

Derek had wanted to say to hell with that bitch, that his health was more important.  But he knew that if Spencer's "problem" had gotten into the wrong hands, that everything he had worked for at the BAU would be lost. 

Spencer rushed to the bathroom again, and Derek heard the all-too-familiar sounds of Spencer emptying what little was in his stomach into the toilet.  Derek followed him, taking his position behind Spencer to hold back his hair and pressing a cold wet rag to the back of his neck.  Spencer coughed and hacked, his body still heaving from nausea but having nothing left in his system.  Derek pulled him into his arms and stood, heading back to the bed.  Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek's neck before going limp, the simple gesture seeming to be too much effort.  Derek laid him down and took his place behind him.  He took Spencer's thin hand in his own, intertwining their fingers.  His heart broke when Spencer didn't even respond.  All the fight, all the...everything seemed to have been drained from his body.  He seemed....defeated.

Acceptance:

Derek yawned as he stripped the bed of its sheets and blankets.  All the windows were open in the apartment and some scented candles were burning in each room, Derek's desperate attempt to air out the apartment of the stench of sickness.  Spencer finally emerged from the bathroom, wrapped up in his flannel bathrobe, and Derek grinned.  His pretty boy finally looked more like a human and less like a corpse.  Derek set the bedding in the laundry basket and said, "You look great, Spencer."

"I feel great, actually," Spencer replied, curling his hair behind his ears.  "And I'm starving."

Derek chuckled and said, "Well, I made you some chicken soup and grilled cheese sandwiches."

Spencer arched an eyebrow.  "You made soup?  All those nights of take-out and you can actually cook?!"

Derek approached him and wrapped an arm around his waist, kissing his cheek and mumbling, "Shut up, and let's get you some soup."

Derek started to walk them out of the room, but Spencer stopped.  Derek turned back to him and Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek's waist, resting his head on his shoulder and murmuring, "Thank you...for everything."

Derek's arms copied Spencer's, and Derek replied softly, his lips brushing against Spencer's forehead, "You're welcome.  Anything for you, pretty boy."

Comments

( 20 Hearts Given — Give Me Your Heart? )
commanderkari
Jan. 4th, 2010 07:22 am (UTC)
I--I think I love you? Is that too forward?

I love this as well, very well written. It was a great read.
I felt so proud of Morgan for sticking with him<3
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:36 am (UTC)
Awww, I love you, too! Thank you so much for the comment! I'm like bubbly over here!
commanderkari
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:55 am (UTC)
:DD
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:58 am (UTC)
XD...Hehe!
gothabilly13
Jan. 4th, 2010 08:38 am (UTC)
so good. really great job. the emotional tone of it works very well
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:36 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your review!
queen_mab126
Jan. 4th, 2010 09:49 am (UTC)
Loved it! (And Caring!Morgan with hurt!Reid is just pure love)
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:37 am (UTC)
Yes, hurt/comfort is a thing of beauty! And as if Morgan would even *think* about letting Reid go through that alone! Thank you so much for the review!
edom56
Jan. 4th, 2010 03:24 pm (UTC)
This was amazing, and very believable :)

Edited at 2010-01-04 03:25 pm (UTC)
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad that it wasn't too over the top or anything. Thank you again!
minah_06712
Jan. 4th, 2010 05:41 pm (UTC)
Hi! This is great!Loved it.
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 03:39 am (UTC)
Hi! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
almightyspaz
Jan. 5th, 2010 06:02 am (UTC)
So awesome.
berryblue_girl
Jan. 5th, 2010 06:04 am (UTC)
Aww, why thank you!
milena_d
Jan. 30th, 2010 06:21 pm (UTC)
Completely fantastic! I've been dying for fics about the withdrawal process and you give that *and* M/R adorableness? This is now one of my fave fics out there! Thanks for sharing!
berryblue_girl
Jan. 30th, 2010 09:55 pm (UTC)
Wow! Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it *that* much. I'm so giddy now, thank you! Sarah
seriously_sane
Jun. 12th, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
awww, loved it!
very well written and great description of withdrawl!
""I'll make you feel so good. Like before? Remember?"" ;_; poor Reid, but way to go Morgan! as if he would leave Reid...
thanks for sharing!
berryblue_girl
Jun. 12th, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC)
Yes, I knew that that would kill Derek to see Spencer so ready to offer himself up like that. It took me a while to figure out a way to work the prompt, but when I did, I was on a roll. Thank you for your lovely reviews!

Peace, Love and Happiness to You...Sarah
Jeanette Hansen
Jan. 6th, 2012 03:19 pm (UTC)
Very nice! I love it!
berryblue_girl
Jan. 7th, 2012 05:39 am (UTC)
Thank you, this story is one I'm really proud of.

Peace,Love, and Happiness to You...Sarah
( 20 Hearts Given — Give Me Your Heart? )

A Little More About Me

Random Girl and her Beast
berryblue_girl
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Let me tell you a riddle...

You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away.
You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure.
But it doesn't matter.
How can it not matter to you where that train will take you?

Because you'll be together.

Inception

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