Title: Explosion of Emotion
Rating: let's call it PG light, for kissing and language
Genre/Warnings: Morgan/Reid slash
Summary: Derek Morgan had been able to suppress many feelings over the years.
Spoilers: Hmm, mentions of "Someone's Watching", "The Fisher King, Part Two", and "Profiler, Profiled".
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own the show, and that sucks.
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at writing this pairing. I am a newbie, so please review and tell me if I'm waaaay off with the characters. I guess you could say this is little AU, I'm bending the CM universe for my own evil purposes. And I'm sorry if the beginning is a little too wordy, I'm providing my interpretation of the characters. Enjoy and review!
Derek Morgan had been able to suppress many feelings over the years. He suppressed the pain he felt when his dad died, the terror of finding that dead kid, and the flithy way he felt every time Carl had touched him. But the one feeling that would not go away, no matter how many times he pushed it aside, was the love that he felt for his friend and team mate, Spencer Reid. Though he tried to fight it from day one, the beautiful genius wormed his way into Derek's heart.
At first, Derek just reasoned it was confusion because of the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of another male. But once he opened that floodgate, old memories resurfaced of his old neighborhood buddy, Tyrese. He remembered the fluttering feeling in his stomach when Ty smiled at him, a timid first kiss, and holding hands in a dark movie theater. But then he moved away to New York, and Derek was left to fend for him. And then there was Carl. After the first time, Derek pushed away every memory of Tyrese because it felt dirty and and wrong. In college, there were a couple of guys, but they were quickies in cheap motel rooms followed by Derek sitting in the bathroom, emptying his stomach and fighting tears.
Then there was the long list of nameless women from his undercover days all the way up to his first years in the BAU. But when Hotch introduced them to the new team member, Dr. Spencer Reid, Derek once again felt that tingle. And that tingle evolved slowly into the fluttering when Reid smiled at him. But Derek fought it tooth and nail. He wouldn't ruin the fragile friendship they had created over a simple crush. It would not only ruin their friendship, but the whole balance of the team. But that didn't stop his feelings growing stronger. The case with Lila Archer didn't help matter either. Derek couldn't fight the flashes of jealousy that shot through him when he saw the photos of her and Reid kissing. He tried to tease Reid about it later on the trip back, but Reid saw past it. He shocked Derek by taking his hand, lacing their fingers together, and whispering, "That could have been you."
Derek froze, his heart hammering in his chest, and just stared at Reid. He smiled and leaned across enough to ghost his lips against Derek's. He pulled away and stood abruptly. Thankfully the rest of the team was asleep, unable to hear Derek crush Reid's heart with harsh whispers that it would never work and to put it out of his mind. Derek headed to the bathroom and pretended he didn't hear the soft cries behind him.
Garcia, to whom Derek told everything, was appalled at his behavior She demanded that he go down to the bullpen and beg Reid to forgive him. They got into a very heated argument, one that Reid accidentally walked in on. Derek saw the pain from his rejection flash in Reid's eyes before the younger man turned on his feel and fled. Garcia stared into the space that once held the genius and stated in a harsh whisper, "I will not forgive you for hurting him until you make this right."
The awkwardness hung in the air in the weeks following the Archer case. Reid retreated into him, taking with him the semi-casual grace he had adapted since he and Derek became friends. Hotch and Gideon knew something was wrong but knew better than to voice their concerns. With time, it become less noticeable or more bearable. The playful banter he once had with Garcia was now filled with silent disappointment in him. And every once in a while, he saw the painful longing in Reid's eyes when he glanced in Derek's direction.
But Derek had finally reach a point where he couldn't deny it any longer. As he had crouched in the hallway with Hotch and the SWAT team, his focus had been on the young man he loved more than anything. He listened to Reid tried to reason with Mr. Garner, to tell the man that his daughter was alive. When the explosion rocked the entire house, all Derek could think was, "Please, God, not him."
He and Hotch rushed to put the flames out on Reid's legs, Hotch shouting, "What the hell was that?"
Reid replied breathlessly, "He had a bomb."
Rage and panic fueled Derek as he snapped, "You didn't think we needed to know that?"
"I told you to go downstairs."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Well, you didn't say bomb! You left out that part!"
Then the mad rush was on to find Rebecca. And usual, Reid brilliant mind figured it out and they found her downstairs in the basement. A few minutes after the explosion, the fire department and ambulance arrived. At Derek and Hotch insistence, Reid was checked out by one of the paramedics.
"I swear," he moaned, "I am completely fine. Nothing a shower and a good night's sleep won't cure."
The paramedic smiled at Hotch and Derek, saying," He's right. He's all right and clear to go."
"I'll take him home," Derek offered at once.
Hotch frowned and Reid rolled his eyes, whining, "This is completely-"
"Necessary," Derek finished, "and not up for discussion. Get in the car, Reid."
Reid complied, albeit unwillingly. The drive to his apartment was silent and nerve-wracking on Derek's part. He knew it was completely cliched to confess your love to someone after they almost died, but he really didn't care anymore. He couldn't let another incident like this happen and Reid not know the truth. He parked in front of Reid's apartment and, without a word, leapt from the car to Reid's side. He was already opening the door and climbing out, saying, "Are you going to carry to my apartment as well?"
Derek ignored the snide remark in favor of pulling Reid into his arms and pressing his lips against Reid's. He could tell the other man was shocked, but that shock quickly faded into passion as he began to kiss Derek back with a small whimper. Derek ran his fingers Reid's back to bury them in the silken curls he had dreamed about touching for a long time. Reid slipped his hand under Derek's shirt and rested it on the small of his back. After a while, oxygen became an issue and they pulled back enough to look into each other's eyes. Reid's were glittered with unshed tears and he whispered, "I thought this day would never come."
"I'm so sorry, Spencer," Derek breathed, resting his forehead against Reid's. "I was so stupid and horrible to you. Can you forgive me?"
Reid chuckled. "Of course, but on one condition."
Reid pulled back and the fear of rejection was so potent in his eyes, it pained Derek to see it. The young genius leaned in to brush his lips against Derek's, whispering, "Tell me you love me."
Derek smiled and he replied softly, "I love you, Spencer Reid, and I will never let you go."
The smile that erupted on his face was brighter than any light in the world. He squeezed Derek and giggled in his ear, "I love you, too, Derek Morgan."